How (not to) engage in mission with young children

Image: jannoon028 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have a vivid memory from 2007.

It is etched on my brain because it became a “kairos” moment for me and my husband, Rich. At the time we were living on an inner-city estate. Part of our “missional activity” involved weekly door knocking to various houses .We would often be invited in to chat, pray, and read the bible with people. I would take our eldest son, Josiah, who was at the time around 18 months old. On this particular day we were in one home praying for one of the women who had broken her leg. I had left Josiah to amuse himself. Mid-way-through-prayer-for healing I became distracted by a loud unceasing banging. I peeked through my closed eyes to see my adorable toddler whacking the woman’s washing machine with one of her crutches. I guess maybe he wasn’t so enamoured with the “missional activity” as I was.

That moment confirmed what I was beginning to already conclude: mission with families is a different ballgame. We had moved specifically to the area because we wanted to reach out to the local community, but with a toddler and another baby on the way we needed to re-think. Being missional couldn’t look the same for us as it did to most of the other young adults who were part of our team.

So I swopped the door-knocking with trips to the park, the library, and the local baby groups. Having a baby (or a dog) instantly opens up relationships. We invited people into our family activity. We had one woman who would turn up on-the-dot- at 5.30 every evening. She would come in, put the kettle on for us all, help bath Josiah, and then sit down and read the bible with us as a family. Our friendship with her developed from a simple act of inviting her to choose a Christmas tree with us.

When we miscarried a baby we invited people in the community to join with us in a ceremony to plant a tree in remembrance. Allowing others to minister to us in times of sorrow is a powerful thing, and we found relationships deepened so much in doing this.

Some other things we have tried:

• Litter-picking and prayer-walking in our local area as a family.
• An alpha-course in our front room with another mum who was keen to learn more of Jesus.
• Opportunities to pray for other mums just by being present at toddler groups.
• Just this morning we simply took the kids with us to a few of our neighbours to give out small Christmas gifts, and a card with a little prayer for the family inside.
• Kids parties
• “Hanging-out” with other families and mums

These are ‘normal’ things we can do as a family, not additional missional-add-ons. They are small, simple acts of engaging with those who don’t yet know Jesus. And they are completely accessible as a family. We haven’t always seen much visible fruit from the things we’ve done, and we’ve made many mistakes along the way, but it’s a journey God is taking us on. We are constantly re-thinking what it looks like to reach out to those God gives us; we now have three children and with each season of life our approach needs to adapt according to the demands and needs of family life. What worked 5 years ago with one child no longer works with three children. I know that as we offer ourselves and our family to God even in the simplest of ways he can use it for His glory – because that’s the kind of amazing God we have.

How have you engaged in mission with children – we’d love to hear your stories and testimonies to encourage and inspire one another.

Written by Anna Robinson

Picture from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2337

Discovering and Developing Missional Vision: Leadership Part 2

Yesterday I shared some questions to ponder on setting a good foundation of a leadership culture within your church, focusing on releasing vision especially in those who might not look like a 'typical' leader. Today, some practicals.

Here are a few tips for releasing vision in the non-pioneers, the under-encouraged or those lacking in confidence:

1. Get to know people's passions, dreams & desires, especially those who are less 'obvious' as leaders. Make some time for those who don't seek you out to tell you their new vision or idea - look for those who are putting away the chairs, or serving coffee. Often these guys make brilliant missionary leaders because they know how to serve and love others.
2. Help potential leaders to clearly articulate their vision - writing it down or talking it through with friends can help with this. It doesn't have to be complicated, just clear. If it helps, get them to think about what they want to see in the UP-IN-OUT of their community. It can (should!) be that simple!
3. You can't encourage the unconfident too much! They need to know you believe in them. Take plenty of opportunities to let them know what gifts/skills you see in them and how you see God's call on their life. However....
4. Don't let them get away with procrastinating about getting to grips with vision and/or getting started. Hold them accountable and pin them down to a plan of writing a vision/plan/asking team/etc, or they might well never bite the bullet and get on with it!
5. Give people space to experiment and fail. Sometimes this might be easiest / feel safest for them within the context of a larger community from which they can then be released at the right time.
6. Train them to lead in their own style/giftings rather than in yours or someone else's. They stand a much better chance of succeeding! Help them to develop team who will balance out their giftings.
7. Good coaching is key to their success. They might well need more coaching than a 'natural' leader. Concentrate on encouragement and helping them to make decisions for themselves rather than giving them all the answers (or telling them what you would do!)
8. Don't necessarily expect their communities to grow as quickly or easily as other more experienced leaders - after all, they are just learning how to be a leader and how to lead with a vision. This will be especially true if their vision is quite 'specialised' or has quite a narrow focus.
9. Keep them missional! It's easy to get overwhelmed with leading people so keep their eyes on why they're doing it.
10. Celebrate success! Share testimony, encourage (again!) and remember that mobilising a whole variety of leaders across the body into missional vision and leadership is worth your time and effort!

Establishing a missional culture: welcome and hospitality

About a year ago a friend was talking about a verse from the Psalms that God had been speaking to them about.  The "God speaking" was a contagious condition.  I'd never noticed them before, but but now can't seem to shake these words:


"God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land."  Psalm 68:6.


It's that first phrase that keeps chasing me: God sets the lonely in families.  For me, that gets close to what establishing a missional culture is all about out.  We are working on our lives, communities and churches so that they become a place where the lonely find a place to belong in His family.


Over the summer I've been reading Ian Adams' excellent book; Cave, Refectory, Road. Adams explores the ancient rhythms and practices of Christian monastics and makes some great suggestions about how those principles might help communities and individuals today.  One of those practices, is hospitality.  From their foundations in the ancient world up until the present day,  Monasteries have always been supposed to be place where the stranger, the poor and the lonely are welcomed.

In our own way, my family and I are experiencing a little of the loneliness of the road right now, and also the beauty of welcome and hospitality.  We've recently left Sheffield to live and work in Deal, Kent.  Before I go on, please don't feel too sorry for us, the area is lovely and we're very happy here.  Even so, our lives were recently full of old friends and familiarity and suddenly feel a lot emptier as we start to build relationships all over again.  What has really helped us is the welcome we've received.  Strangers have come round to help us unpack, boxes of food and goodies waited for us when we arrived, friendly smiles and words have been given the end of church.  We are being pulled into a new family.

All of these different things are pushing me towards one realisation: hospitality and welcome are fundamental to a missional culture.  God sets the lonely in families and he wants to do it in our communities.

But good hospitality takes sacrifice.  Lonely people, new people, are often difficult and require effort.  They don't know how the community works, they may not be on board with the vision, they don't get the in jokes.  They may be lonely because they're weird or awkward.  They may be awkward because they're lonely.  They will at times be hard work.

The effort is worth it.  If you can establish a culture of welcome and of hospitality then you're already a long way to getting a missional culture.  The difficult, but new, awkward people are essential to your life and your group; find them and welcome them.